Colourless
by morph
Summary: The Big Bang 2 from the POV of the TARDIS. Part of my TARDIS 100 series. One shot.


AN/ It's been a long time since I've written a fic. The end of "The Big Bang" seemed a logical spot to have a TARDIS POV. Spoilers for that episode. Part of my TARDIS 100 series. I do not own Doctor Who.

* * *

There is light. It is the brightest light. Bright like a star. Like all the suns that have ever orbited planets that supported life.

There is also pain, burning hot as it moves through the colours - red, orange, yellow, white fire. The white fire glows brightest, absent of any other colour.

Explosions. No, that's incorrect. Not many, just one. One huge explosion. Even then, 'huge' is too small a word. Not enough syllables. Not enough letters. Immense. Enormous. Tremendous. Even these English words are not enough. There must be more in other languages.

And I am afraid. I am afraid for the woman trapped inside of me. We landed wrong, _I_ landed wrong, my outside doors opening flush against a wall. I've done that before, and it was comical then, but it's all too serious now.

Time is skipping, looping. We are doomed to repeat her failed escape attempt over and over until there is a blip. For a brief, shining moment, I can feel my Doctor's mind, but then he is gone with the woman and I am abandoned to my doom.

I feel so very... alone. Yet that's not correct either. I'm only alone because I'm taking the whole universe with me. My detonation is rippling across all of time and space. Like an earthquake, I am shaking everything apart. Cracks, ruptures, splits in time to swallow lives and memories whole. Consuming stars and planets... everything. Even sound and light and colour itself. Slates are not only being wiped clean, they are being shattered. The sun is long ago consumed. I am now providing the light and heat enough to support Earth below in the eye of the storm.

I'm so afraid. I'm screaming and I'm desperately trying to run away from my terrible predicament, but I cannot. I'm horribly trapped, lost and alone and everything is _dying_ and being _forgotten_...

But then he is there. My Doctor has returned to me and the restoration field from the Pandorica feels _so_ good. It cools and salves the burn. It darkens the blinding light and mutes the colours of fire and it closes the cracks. That darkness is lit up again, but properly. Stars shine and reflect light against ancient and new planets and moons. The Doctor is cycled back through his timeline as his history is erased, and would have gone all the way back had he not decided to stop. He walks into the light and I embrace my Doctor as the last of the stars come back to life.

For a long time there is nothing. There is still no sound or colour here. I do not exist. The Doctor does not exist. Impossibly, I hold him close though, our minds somehow still connected.

"_You left me..."_

He's shocked I'm accusing him of this. _"Never, Old Girl."_

"_Yes you did! You left me and I exploded and-"_

"_And I came back. I made things right again. I'm here now with you."_

He's right. I feel shame, apologetic. He forgives me, always, but I am afraid again.

"_How will we get back?"_

"_It's taken care of. I was able to plant a memory. Amelia Pond will dream of you, my beautiful TARDIS, and of me, her imaginary friend her whole life. We have River too. She will help Amy remember. _Words_ and _memories_ are _power._ She will bring us back. Everything will be fine. We just have to have faith."_

"_Faith. We have faith in our companions,"_ I agreed.

We are quiet, holding each other. Then... another question: _"My Doctor, what caused all this?"_

"_I don't know. We will find out though, once we are all safe. I promise."_

Then there is a voice. It drips red with spirit through the colourless silence. It's quiet at first and we must strain to listen. "There's someone missing, someone important, someone so, _so_ important. Sorry everyone, but when I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend, the Raggedy Doctor, _my_ Raggedy Doctor. But he wasn't imaginary, he was real."

The voice is louder now; female, Scottish and very familiar. It splashes a vibrant rainbow. Amy Pond shouts as if chanting a summoning spell and I can feel the Doctor and I returning to the universe.

"I remember you! _I remember_! I brought the others back; I can bring you home too! Raggedy man, I remember you! And _you_ are _late for my wedding!"_

I can feel solid planet forming now beneath me. It smells like Earth and it is wonderful. The Doctor is just as pleased with himself as he is with Amy. His plan worked. While there are still mysteries to unfold, he simply cannot continue without celebrating.

"I found you," Amy continues, "I found you in words just like you knew I would. That's why you told me the story; the brand new, ancient blue box. Oh clever,_ very_ clever."

_Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. __Something blue__._

More memories from other people help the miracle along. I can feel Rory's join the flood of colour that has brought us back.

I sense now Amy's presence close to me. She touches my outer shell and calls out again. "Okay Doctor, did I surprise you this time?"

The Doctor opens my door, decked out for the party, beaming like nothing happened.

He leaves me off to the side while he celebrates. I do not feel abandoned this time. I am too busy marvelling at the colours.


End file.
